Maisha these sides is still not poa.
But alot-alot-alot has changed and is changing. Fasta-fasta!
#1 is Mr.Boss of the hao (at least he thought he was!) has 'hit out'..lil Jr is a year older alafu I'm ji-tayarisha'ing to fika home one day soonest. My pops is in the loop and is fully supportive..Mr.Boss is yet to be informed - and i'm full of mixed emotions at the moment.
It could be explained as a mixture of 'excitos' and apprehension.
One thing for sure is that since nimechoka to 'ana level' I need some respite of some sort.
And I know fo'sho' that Nai will not be the place for that one - not to start off with anyway.
I'll have to fika coast alafu 'gishagi' - preferably in that order - to 'chiiiiill' then unwind and reconnect with mother-nature and pass my love to dearly departed ones that I think of often..
I need to further exorcise all the issues that Jr's dad has left me with - issues that allowed me to tolerate the way he treated us - all the issues surrounding that - and the new-found fear of men that I now have. A fear that I never knew could exist within me - and its a fear that I absolutely am so annoyed that I possess -but God willing it'll be gotten rid of with time. Its a fear that I have developed towards the male species as a whole - where the exceptions are people like my pops; my first love; my very close male cousins and male friends who I've known for a million years.. I need to re-connect with these people to understand the psyche behind a man who mistreats his wife and child and feels nuthin-nuthin-nuthin. Imagine?..yani I'm a statistic..
